If Tomorrow Never Comes S5 Jate spoilers in!
by BlueDream1
Summary: When faced with the possibility of losing Jack, will Kate reveal her true feelings?Based on some of the spoilers we got about Jate for S5. don t worry, none of the actual spoilers have Jack in danger


**WARNING:**

**_Based on some of the spoilers we got for S5 so far. Most of the fic is just my imagination, but the general setting and some tidbits are part of the spoilers, so, if you don´t want to be spoiled for S5 at all, don´t read it._** If you do, hope you´ll like it. The song is _If tomorrow never comes_ by Ronan Keating.

Oh and, the timeline is a bit...messy, ´cause there are 3 timelines intertwining: the present (written in _past_ tense), the past (written in _present_ tense) as a part of Kate´s dream of what really happened) and Kate´s nightmare (written in present, but in _italics_). Hope it didn't turn out so confusing.

**_If Tomorrow Never Comes…_**

He was sitting in an armchair next to the big, sulky-looking bed. His face looked tired; his usually sparkly eyes were now closed, as if they too wanted to escape this place of despair and fear into some better, happier world.

The escape, even if only a mental one, was impossible to reach though, thanks to the loud noises coming from the outside. The sounds of the cars passing, the horns of some nervous drivers as they turned around the corner, the excited chattering of the prostitutes waiting under the cover of the night, the cussing of the diner owner as he tried to drive them away...

Jack opened his eyes and sighed sadly. He wanted to offer her more than this, but he couldn't risk. Staying at his or her place overnight or renting a room in one of the fancy hotels both of them could afford now was out of question – those would be the first places those people would look at. _No, they couldn't risk._

_Sometimes late at night/ I lie awake and watch her sleeping…_

A small shifting coming from the bed next to him shook him out of his thoughts. He looked down at the figure lying on it, her tiny body looking even more fragile under the dim light coming from the street lamp outside.

She was lying on her front, her face turned in his direction, soft curls spread across the pillow. She looked troubled, even in sleep. He could see the small frowns decorating her forehead and the dark bags beneath her eyes, reminders of the calamities that had found her a couple of days ago and changed what till then had been a pretty ordinary life. He watched her body rising up and down as she breathed rhythmically, and his eyes didn't feel lifeless anymore. On the contrary, a tiny sparkle was starting to shine in them; a sparkle they always had when _she_ was on the receiving side of his gaze. _A sparkle of a man in love._

He watched her sleeping for a few minutes; then got up and approached the bed. He lifted the covers and placed them gently over her body, his lips stretching into a smile as he watched her snuggling in. His gaze drifted towards her face and the smile faded quickly, replaced by a painful grimace. Even under the faint light coming from the outside, he could still see the traces of tears that had carved themselves into her cheeks, and his heart broke for her once again, ´cause he knew that she had cried herself to sleep this night too. He reached his hand, pausing for a while; then applied it gently on her cheek, his fingers almost flinching as they came in contact with the familiar skin under them. He watched her reply to his touch, her head reflexively snuggling closer, and he let out a sad sigh. _...so I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark..._ Brushing his fingers one last time across her cheek, he slowly got up and returned to his armchair again, wincing as the bandage on his shoulder moved, pain shooting through his body. He could still feel the sharp pain of the bullet piercing his skin, luckily just grazing his shoulder. He shifted in the chair until he found a more comfortable position; regretting for a moment his insisting that _she_ was the one to sleep on the bed; then smiled and closed his eyes, the lyrics from the radio reaching his conscious.

_And the thought crosses my mind/ If I never wake up in the morning…_

He opened his eyes, finding it quite ironic that of all the songs out there precisely this one was playing. His eyes fell on the sleeping figure and his face turned serious again. _If he hadn't bent down that precise second, that bullet would've shot him in the heart. And if that had happened, he'd have been dead; there was no doubt about that_.

_And if my time on earth were through/ And she must face the world without me…_

But strangely, it didn't make him think of himself or of what _he_ would have lost. On the contrary, all that was on his mind was her and how would _she_ cope with that. He knew she was strong, stronger than most women he knew, but he doubted she could stand losing _him_ too, especially now when she had already lost Aaron, when she didn't know where her son was or what had happened to him.

As he sat there quietly, he wondered where the boy could be, if he was scared, missing his mummy, calling for her, or…maybe even him… and he felt a small tear sliding down his cheek. The last thing his conscious registrated before he drifted off to sleep was a promise he made. _A promise that he would get the boy back…_

_Is the love I gave her in the past/ Gonna be enough to last/ If tomorrow never comes…_

_It's dark, she's sleeping in her bed. Suddenly, she hears the sound of the phone ringing. She groans, putting her head under the pillow. She's determined to ignore it, she's tired, so tired, all she wants to do is to sleep. But it keeps ringing, the dull sound piercing her brain. She groans again, annoyed. She opens her eyes slowly, squinting at the alarm clock nearby. Her eyebrows frown. 4:30. (Who could it be this early?) She taps her hand blindly until she reaches the phone, then picks up the receiver, pressing it to her ear as she digs her head back into the pillow._

_˝´ello? ˝she mumbles sleepily._

_˝Katherine Austen?˝ says the voice on the other side._

_She stiffens. Something in the tone of the voice makes her go nervous. ˝Y-yeah. Who is that? ˝she asks, dreading the reply._

_˝My name's Timothy Robbing, Miss. I'm calling from Saint Angels… (No, no…) This number was listed as an emergency contact. ˝_

_The voice sounds cold and distant as it lists on and on the words that have no meaning to her. ˝…shooting…severe injuries…(No, no...)…the doctors did all they could…(No, no, this isn't true, this isn't happening…)...I'm really sorry, Miss Austen. ˝_

_Next scene… she's walking down the dark corridor, everything's dark, even the walls. The only sound is coming from her heels as they land on the cold tiles. Someone opens the door for her and she enters the room. She's in the morgue, and she watches as a man pulls open the table and lifts the sheet. (No!) She wants to scream, but she can't, the terror too strong, too real. She approaches the body…(no, not the body. **Him**. She approaches **him**.) His eyes are closed; he looks like he's sleeping. She runs her hand across his face, flinching at how cold it feels. She can feel the stubble beneath her fingers, and she sobs as she remembers how they joked about whether he should keep it or not. She feels someone's hands on her shoulders, telling her it's time to go; and another man starts pulling on the sheet. (No, no!) She's screaming now, struggling to get free. (No, they can't take him away!) She feels her knees going weak, and she catches one last glimpse of his face before it's covered, and the next moment she's falling on the ground, greeting the cold floor as she curls up and cries and cries and cries…_

_( I'm Kate./Jack….. Fear is sort of an odd thing….. Three days ago we all died. We should all be able to start over...… That's me, hardcore… Well this is a first. You standing still... middle of the day doing nothing. Amazing... You'll like it, I swear….. I didn't do it for him…..and I have to know that you've got my back……You hooked it. Try keeping your left arm straight……….It's okay. It's alright………..You're not coming! You're staying. Alright?... The hatch can wait until morning... if you'd like me to walk you back to the beach………..I'm not……. Did they hurt you?... Kate, dammit, run!... The first day on the beach, the day of the crash...the story that I told you. If you're safe, tell me…………I need you to make me a promise, Kate…………But I will come back here for you………Because I love you. )_

_Her head shoots up. She did it again. She killed the man she loved. She lets the tears running down her face as she remembers the events from the day before…_

...

… The screen flips….we´re on a street now. It's crowded, people rushing up and down. She's in the car, flicking nervously the cell phone in her hands, her eyes wandering all over the street, looking for something. Or _someone_. Suddenly, she spots him. He's looking better, much better than the last time she saw him. He's clean, shaved, wearing his black suit and white shirt. She watches him as he crosses the street, and can't help herself but notice how handsome he looks like. He's getting closer, she can see his face now…

˝Hey.˝ he says silently as he squats down next to the car.

She looks up at him, a knot forming in her throat. She still finds it shocking – how, after all this time, all those feelings for him are still there, never having lost their intensity. The thing she wants the most is to snuggle herself closer to him, to feel his strong arms wrapped around her body, to feel safe, comforted again, if only for a minute. But then she remembers that she's supposed to still be angry at him, so she shakes those thoughts away and manages to choke out a small ˝Hey˝.

Next thing, she's listening to him as he tells her everything he knows, how what he told her on the day of their last meeting, that he did it all to protect her and Aaron, is true; how he might know who is behind kidnapping Aaron and how he will do everything in his power to find him, but that they will have to go in hiding because those people are after them as well.

˝Trust me, Kate. ˝he says pleadingly, his hand closing above hers.

... She's looking at his hand covering hers, it feels so familiar; then finally nods, first slowly, then more determinedly; a small tear sliding down her cheek. She looks up in the rear mirror and suddenly freezes as she watches black BMW approaching them suspiciously. ˝Jack, get in. Get in now! ˝she yells and Jack looks at her confused, but then the sound of the tires screeching catches his attention and he swiftly gets up, running around the car then quickly slipping inside; her hitting the speed as soon as his feet touch the ground, making him slam back into the car seat. They speed away, her firmly keeping her eyes on the road, her brows frowned in concentration. _But as the adrenaline fills her body, she realizes that she isn't as lost as before. She's in her survival mode again and it feels familiar_. But the feeling unfortunately isn't the only familiar thing; ´cause suddenly other sounds appear too. The sounds of shooting. She's trying her best to maneuver the car and avoid the bullets at the same time. Suddenly, she hears Jack cursing in pain, and as she looks at him, blood drenching his shirt, another scene from her past flashes in front of her eyes…. _She's shaking him, his shirt's soaked with blood too, there's blood coming from his nose…Tom? Tom! Tom? Oh God, Tom. No, no, no, no, no, Tom. Please... please wake up…_

_Is the love I gave her in the past/ gonna be enough to last…_

_...´Because I love you.´ The words are still echoing in her head, as the scene changes again. She's in the hallway now, his hands cupping her face as he gently leans in, pressing his lips onto hers. She can still feel the warmth of his breath against her face, and then the scene switches again. He's holding open the ring, beautiful diamond shining up at her; she's crying, happy tears sliding down her face… ´Yes, of course I will, yes!´ They hug and then the scenes changes again: she's in the jungle and he's screaming at her to leave. ´When you get safe, you radio me and you tell me that story…. Kate, dammit, run!´ She is sobbing even louder now: he'd sacrificed for her then; and now he sacrificed himself for her again, she lost him, she lost them both. The scene switches again: she's in church, the church is crowded. She looks around; people are looking at her strangely, sympathetically. She looks down: she's in black. Suddenly, she hears a melody and turns to the altar, his face is looking at her from the poster just above the…just above the casket. Suddenly, the casket starts going down – she starts screaming: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!_

She was shaking. No, _someone_ was shaking her.

˝Kate, Kate, wake up! ˝Jack said, trying to bring her back to her senses. She'd scared the hell out of him, as she started trashing around in the bed and screaming so loudly he was sure the whole motel would soon be awake.

Hey eyes shot open, and she blinked a couple of times, startled. Jack was leaning above her, his hands on her shoulders, shaking her gently. ˝Jack? ˝she asked carefully, not wanting to get her hopes up.

He let out a sigh of relief. She really had him seriously worried for a moment. ˝It's okay, it's alright, you just had a bad dream. ˝he tried to explain, but he wasn't sure she heard a word of what he was saying.

She was sweating, tears were flowing down her eyes and he could feel her whole body tremble under his fingers.

˝They shot you, there was blood, they called me from the hospital, I saw your body, you were dead….I caused you to die, just like I did to Tom. ˝she continued rambling, her eyes wide in shock. ˝And then I was in church, there was a casket, and they started putting you down and I couldn't… I couldn't…˝she started, but she couldn't finish. She couldn't find the words to express the horror of that thought; the thought of him ceasing to exist.

Jack looked at her breaking down in front of him and he felt like breaking down too. He could deal with almost everything, but to witness her cry and sob like that was one of the most painful experiences of his life. He reached down and pulled her up in sitting position, his hands still on her shoulders. ˝Sssssssh, it's okay, it was just a dream. ˝he said softly. He looked up, his eyes finding hers. ˝Kate, it was just a dream. I'm here. I'm here and I'm going nowhere. ˝he said, his eyes digging into hers, and she nodded, tears streaming down her eyes.

She took a couple of deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down, him holding her and making soothing circles across her shoulders until she finally stopped sobbing. He pulled away for a bit, his eyes finding hers again. ˝Kate, we´re gonna bring Aaron back. We´re gonna find him and bring him back, okay? I promise. ˝he said.

She nodded, bringing her hands up to wipe up the tears. She closed her eyes, trying to erase the nightmare from her memory, to focus on something else. It was then that she heard the lyrics coming from the radio behind:

_So tell that someone that you love/ just what you´re thinking of/ if tomorrow never comes._

She smiled through tears, took out a deep breath; then opened her eyes and looked up at him.

˝Jack? ˝

˝Yeah? ˝

˝I love you. ˝she said through tears.

He looked at her too, surprised at first; then she saw his whole face lightening up in relief as his lips stretched into a smile.

˝I love you too.˝ he mumbled against her lips, leaning his forehead against hers as he closed his eyes, the feeling of having her hear him again, of being _that_ close to her again so great he couldn't find the words to describe it even if his life depended on it. He heard her chuckling softly before placing a small kiss in the nook of his neck, then pulling him in for a hug. He returned the hug wholeheartedly, holding her tightly in his arms, his face sinking into her hair, inhaling the familiar scent again.

˝We´re gonna bring our boy back, Kate. We´re gonna bring him back. ˝he whispered in her ear, feeling her nod slightly and tightening the hug. He kissed the spot right below her ear once, then returned his head into her hair. _Everything would be all right._

_Please tell me what you think ;)_


End file.
